Last Updated on November 10, 2021 by Lawrence Berezin
What do traffic sagas have to do with clowns?
Clowns create frightening traffic sagas. That is to say; these unthinking clodhoppers don’t deserve the privilege of driving on the streets of New York City.
In the same vein, these are people who:
- Can’t control their anger and agression
- Don’t take the time to learn the rules of the road
- Know the rules but choose not to follow them
- Have dreadful judgment making traffic and parking decisions
Meanwhile, here are some stories that will help you avoid these evil clowns.
A traffic saga about a frightening clown
What’s 73 minus 17? That is the number of years I’ve been driving a car on city streets. However, in all my years of driving, this is the second most repulsive act I’ve witnessed. Johnny Law should never, ever permit this clown to drive again.
Here’s a link to the ABC News video report of the grotesque clowns’ terrible act of violence.
Joe, the dangerous clown making a reckless left hand turn
Joe was traveling on Allen Street and approaching the intersection of Grand Street in NYC, and he planned to make a left turn at the corner. Meanwhile, a center median was less than 30 feet wide, so Joe didn’t have to stop his turn at the center mall.
However, dangerous clown, Joe thought that the law was an invitation to blow through the intersection even if conditions were otherwise unsafe. Pow! Bang! Bop! Accident. Dangerous clown strikes again.
Source: “Traffic Conundrums,” Gridlock Sam
NY State VTL 120
(b) Where a highway includes two roadways thirty feet or more apart, then every crossing of each roadway of such divided highway by an intersecting highway shall be regarded as a separate intersection. In the event such intersecting highway also includes two roadways thirty feet or more apart, then every crossing of two roadways of such highways shall be regarded as a separate intersection.
[The image to the left is a Google Maps view of Allen Street and Grand Street.]
NASCAR Betty the speed demon clown
Betty loved speed. Every trip home from work was Betty’s attempt to establish a new speed record navigating NYC traffic.
Here’s NASCAR Betty’s latest double dose of speeding tickets
Nascar Betty was driving 60 mph when she got pulled over in the 30 mph zone for speeding. As a result, a cop gave her a speeding ticket.
However, Betty now believed she had a free pass to finish her trip home. Sadly, Nascar Betty was mistaken.
She immediately accelerated to 60 mph as she traveled into the new 45 mph speed zone on the Prospect Expressway. Guess what? Betty was pulled over and issued a second speeding ticket, which was perfectly legal! Excellent work, Betty. Ca-ching!
Source: “Traffic Conundrums,” Gridlock Sam
The Rosey Brown of ruthless driveway blocking clowns
Rosey Brown (1953-1965) was one of the greatest Giant’s offensive linemen ever. Moreover, a well-deserved honor for the Giant’s hall of fame blocker.
But, when it comes to blocking other people’s driveways, Ruthless Robert is in a different hall of fame.
Ruthless Robert considers a driveway his own, unique parking space. He never thinks twice about the damage that his bad behavior can cause property owners. What if, the driveway owner:
- Is late for work
- Has a family emergency
- Needs a place to park
I’m not too fond of inconsiderate driveway blockers. And, would love to put an end to the Ruthless Roberts of NYC.
Commentary
How can the NYC driving public avoid traffic sagas? Firstly, is to eliminate the clowns that cause them. But, it won’t be easy.
We have to implement reasonable laws to regulate the highways, byways, and curbs of NYC. Most importantly, we must enforce these laws fairly and consistently. For example, why not stop issuing double-parking tickets for parallel parking? How about making available the date the DOT installed that pole with a new law? A FOIL request is not the answer. C’mon man!
The vast majority of warriors, cops, and judges do the right thing. But, don’t reward judges who decide the most cases in the shortest time with the most nonsensical guilty verdicts. Get rid of these costly clowns, who sully the reputation of an otherwise exemplary system that allows drivers to fight unjust parking tickets.
Meanwhile, if you want to read a terrific book, check out “Traffic Conundrums” by Gridlock Sam. The book is easy to understand and will save you money. *
Be safe.
* Larry’s Disclaimer
I’m not getting paid or receiving anything of value for highly recommending Gridlock Sam’s excellent book. Other than the knowledge that the book will help you navigate NYC streets and park safely.
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